Delusional Homeowners That Need to be Bitch Slapped (or HGTV’s Real Estate Intervention)

I loved this show in Season 1 & 2 and anxiously awaited Season 3 only to be let down by HGTV.  It is hard to articulate the emotions I am feeling in the loss of this wonderful entertainment venue.  Luckily, I found someone else that is able to articulate how I am feeling.  Here it it:

“I’ve previously mentioned my obsession with home improvement reality shows.
I enjoy the suffering of others, and this is what drew me to the previous seasons of Real Estate Intervention.

The premise is simple. Take an agressive real estate agent who looks like Richard Moll with a mustache, and send him out with a cute chip-munk faced interior designer to tell people that their home for sale is unbelievably overpriced, and that their house looks like a set from Swiss Family Robinson. (I love that show)

In previous seasons, the producers were adept at finding the most delusional sellers in the country. Many were upside down in their mortgage and asking 30% higher than they should. Mike Aubrey (Richard Moll realtor) would take them around town looking at comparative homes, and a sold comp as well. In the mean-time Sabrina Soto (Chip and Dale-esque designer) would get updates on their selling progress.

Aubrey would generally show them that their house was ridiculously over-priced, and that they needed to take one in the shorts or pull their house off the market. The sellers generally wouldn’t listen to his advice, and on the “3 months later update” portion of the show, they usually hadn’t sold and were subletting the downstairs bedroom to a family of 9.
Mike Aubrey was the resident hard-ass.

Soto’s job on the show was to get coffee with the sellers, and look pretty for the camera.

It actually was a pretty entertaining show.
Not anymore.

This new season (season 3) is fairly similar to the others, but the creators have changed things…and for the worse.
They obviously thought that Soto was under-utilized, and now have half the show dedicated to her redecorating and helping stage the house.
Aubrey doesn’t take the sellers to as many houses, and seems to have lost his “Simon Cowell” edge that made the show entertaining.
In addition, most of the sellers are generally likeable, and want to listen to the advice of the show—which usually means the house will sell.

A recent episode had an older couple selling their DC multi-level home for 1.8 million dollars because they had recently purchased a retirement home in Florida. This will not draw in audiences.
I propose that if they renamed the show Trailer Park Intervention and only helped people sell trailers, the show would be a genuine hit. Move over Pawn Stars.
Aubrey would have to grow a mullet to match his psuedo-stache in order to “mesh” with the locals. They would go visit other trailers on the market, but would need to bring mace for the dogs, and marlboro reds to keep the kids busy. Soto gets pregnant, and wears nothing but tube tops. She outfits each trailer with a 6 foot tall felt picture of Jesus, and a neon Schlitz sign for the window to class up the place. Rather than telling the sellers a price for their home, Bull Shannon-copycat instructs them on what would be the best trade for their trailer. ’82 Trans Am’s would be worth at least a 34 foot double-wide. 6 20 guage shotguns and card good for one VHS rental per month at the corner store would garner at least a 14 foot mobile.

Consider the above paragraph “prior art.” Any attempt to steal this idea will be met with yelling and threats of lawsuits.

This feel-goody crap is not as interesting. It’s true that Moll-doppleganger still sports his chic mustache, but even that has lost its luster. He drives around in BMW’s and other luxury cars rather than a windowless van.

Soto tries to spice things up by wearing dresses that end 12 inches above her kneeline, but I’m not into inter-species relationships.
I tuned into this show for mental stress, financial loss, and credit-ruining circumstances. I’m not getting this anymore. It’s officially pulled off my DVR schedule. If you disagree, this show can still be found on HGTV. Search porn-stache in your Tivo, and it should pop up.

1 boring star out of 5.”


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