A Dog’s Christmas Promises – A Doggy Wonderland

Christmas is for humans, and I will
not ruin the surprises by opening all their presents.

Christmas light bulbs, Christmas
ornaments, Christmas stockings, and tinsel from the Christmas tree are not

I am the alpha dog, therefore I do
not need to protect my new Christmas rawhide from the omega dog
by taking it outside to eat when the wind chill is -10 F.

I will not demolish the Christmas
tree and drag the string of lights out into the backyard through the doggy

I will not dive into the Christmas
tree to get the candy canes (which I will eat — paper and all).

I will not eat my Christmas doggie treats until
after they’re out of the stocking!

I will not even THINK about going
underneath the Christmas tree and piddling on the dining room rug.

I will not get into a fight with the
bigger dog next door, making my human have to call the vet’s at Christmas.

I will not get tangled up in the
Christmas tree lights and pull the tree down while trying to get at a cat
through the conservatory window.

I will not pee on Grandma’s
Christmas presents that are under her tree as soon as we enter her house.

I will not pee on the Christmas

I will not steal the neighbor’s
Christmas light bulbs.

The bowl underneath the Christmas tree is not a
dog dish. I will not drink from it. It will make me sick.


Dog tags ring, are you
In the lane, snow is
It’s yellow, NOT white – I’ve been
there tonight,  
Marking up my winter
Smell that tree? That’s my
It’s a sign for wand’ring
“Avoid where I pee, it’s MY
Marked up as my winter
In the meadow dad will build a
following the classical
Then I’ll lift my leg and let it go
So all the world will know
Straight from me to the
flows my natural incense
“Stay off of my TURF, this
small piece of earth,  
I mark it
as my winter wonderland

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