I tried, and ultimately failed, at my attempt to be friends with my sister. I guess when there is a significant age difference and you weren’t raised knowing each other, it just isn’t realistic. This is especially true if one side doesn’t care about the other as a person, much less a relative and especially as a sibling.
After hours of dwelling on it and discussing it with my therapist, all I can do is move on. Maybe once she’s older and experienced life a little (early 20’s) she’ll be at a place where we can perhaps one day be friends, though we will most likely never be sisters. Oh well, it’s in her court now as I will not seek her out again. My mother would get a good laugh at how even know, my father manages to hurt me as he did when I was a child by ignoring us.
I am however, friends with my sister-in-law, whom I just refer to as my sister. She is also very young, but has had trials and tribulations in her life that raises her maturity level (not too mention she is mom to the most adorable nephew in the world!). She did not grow up in a Mary Poppins world where everything is happy and cheerful. She also knows what it is like to have dysfunction in the family.
This article made me think about all my friends that have sisters and all of them are close now that they are adults (most of my friends are 40+). When asked, they almost all agreed that there was a period in their lives where they didn’t get along at all and of course, sometimes they don’t agree or have a tiff, but now they are friends and in many cases best friends with at least one of their sisters.
I guess you always want you never had and those that had it sometimes don’t realize how well they had it.
Yes, my sister bruised my heart and really hurt my feelings, but I take comfort in the fact that I tried. Even though the outcome wasn’t nice, it’s better than wondering I guess. Although, I really wish I hadn’t found her on Facebook and just kept wondering every know and then, instead of knowing someone that should at least be curious doesn’t care about you at all.
Life was much simpler before the internet. As I inch closer to 40, I am happy to have my husband and his mom and am happy for my Uncle and Auntie that have accepted me into their lives and for the numerous cousins I communicate and visit with, having them in my life makes me feel a little less alone.