You know you’re a Southerner when…

You know the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don’t “have” them, you “pitch” them.

You know how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up “a mess.”

You can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

You know exactly how long “directly” is _ as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”

You know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

You know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

You know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’!)
 You grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

You know and understand the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

You never assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

You know that “fixin'” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

You know that the term “booger” can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in “that ol’ booger,” a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

You make friends while standing in lines. We don’t do “queues”, we do “lines,” and when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!

You never refer to one person as “y’all.”

You know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

You know tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

You say things like, “Well, I caught myself lookin’ .. ,”

You say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it _ we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

You know that if you are with a couple of friends you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn’t matter.

You know you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her heart” and go your own way.

You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

“Ya’ll” is singular and “all ya’ll” is plural.

After five years you still hear, “You ain’t from ’round here, are Ya?”

“He needed killin’ ” is a valid defense.

Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

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