10 Habits Of People In The Happiest Relationships | HuffPost

10 Habits Of People In The Happiest Relationships | HuffPost

1. They always kiss their spouse hello and goodbye.

“Far from being a meaningless habit, this ensures that you connect, even for just a moment, at least twice a day. Many people in unhappy relationships say that they can’t recall when they stopped kissing at greetings and goodbyes, it just slips away without effort. When you make the time to make eye contact with your partner and kiss them, it shows that you prioritize your relationship even during the busiest of mornings or evenings.” ― Dr. Samantha Rodmanpsychologist and dating coach

2. They are generous with compliments.

“Everyone needs compliments and they especially need them from their partner. You cannot give too many sincere compliments ― whether you have been together 5 years or 50. It can be simple things like saying, ‘You look especially gorgeous today’ to deeply felt statements like ‘I was so proud of you today when you gave our son such wise advice.’”― Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology and certified sexologist

3. They disagree at times, but they fight fair.

“If partners don’t disagree now and then they’re either not being honest or aren’t human. Disagreeing isn’t a marriage problem ― it’s normal. It’s how couples work through their disagreements (or rather don’t) that can become bad for their marriageDisagreements are opportunities to practice conflict resolution and build communication skills. Take a look at your disagreements and see what bad habits each partner has when you disagree. Do you talk over each other? Get angry? Yell? Swear? Name call? Disengage? Each partner should make a list of their bad tendencies and use future disagreements to practice responding differently and building better communication skills.” ― Kurt Smiththerapist who specializes in counseling for men

4. They focus on the things they like about their partner, rather than the things they don’t.

“This positive perspective, which is a trend among the happiest couples in decades of research by The Gottman Institute, is something that increases warmth, friendship and feeling generally liked by their partner. This does not mean that they let their standards for the relationship go out the window. But when these couples are met with perpetual problems, even then they find the humor in their differences and work to find temporary compromises that enable them to continue appreciating their partner for who they are.” ― Kari Carroll, couples therapist

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5. They engage in a little PDA.

“It’s sappy and it grosses out the kids, but it works. The happiest couples aren’t afraid to show affection to each other – even in public. So, go ahead and hold your spouse’s hand when you’re shopping in the mall or snuggle up to them when you’re at the movies with your friends. A little PDA can go a long way.” ― Aaron Anderson, marriage and family therapist

6. They don’t expect their partner to read their mind; they ask for what they need.

“The happiest couples we see make it a habit to ask for what they need and listen to each other’s needs (without being resentful). Running around hoping another person will know what you need or that you are supposed to know exactly what they need is a recipe for disaster. The happiest couples are delighted to openly talk about needs and honor differences in needs without feeling like anyone should have already known or that their ‘soulmate’ will have the same needs as them.” ― Dr. Danielle Harel, sex and relationship coach

7. They set aside time to reconnect and make it a priority.

“They understand that in long-term relationships, affection and sex don’t just happen, couples need to have a commitment to cultivating connection instead of hoping it just happens. For example, at the beginning of a relationship, most couples can’t keep their hands off each other. Later on in a relationship, they can’t seem to keep their hands off their phones or computers. Couples who commit to prioritizing time to be together, to show affection and to keep learning and growing around sex, are definitely the happiest.” –– Celeste Hirschman, sex and relationship coach

8. They laugh together ― often.

“It’s easy for a relationship to deteriorate into just talking about logistics, saving your funny anecdotes for your best friend or coworker. This is a mistake. When couples get out of the habit of laughing together, their relationship is at risk of losing its joy and spirit.”― Dr. Samantha Rodman

9. They discuss their finances.

“Fighting over money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Unfortunately, most couples avoid talking about money until they have money problems so big they can no longer be ignored. Forcing yourselves to talk about money before there is a big problem is one of the smartest things you can do to ensure your marriage will be happy and long-lasting.” Kurt Smith

10. They give each other the benefit of the doubt.

When people are struggling in relationships it’s not unusual to feel that your partner is on a completely different team that you. Remember that you are on the same team and that you both care about one another. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is a great strength in a happy relationship.” ― Dr. Marie Land, psychologist 

Continue reading 10 Habits Of People In The Happiest Relationships | HuffPost

18 years has gone by so fast! Happy Anniversary Honey!

I
often hear people say they love their partner more today than they did the day
they married them.  To me that sounds a
bit cliché and not quite accurate.  Don’t
get me wrong, I don’t love him any less, but I wouldn’t have married him if I
wasn’t head over heels in love with him. 
What I can say is that I like him more today than I did the day we were
married.  Does that sound strange?  Let me try to explain.

We’ve known each other
for 22 years, been together for 20 and married for 18.  Of course, I liked him when we got married,
but the more you know someone, the more you like or dislike them.  Over the course of these past 18 years I have
gotten to know the man my husband was and watched him mature and grow into the
man he is today. 

He has always supported
me in whatever I want to do and has been my strength when I needed to do things
I couldn’t have done alone.  He has never
wavered when my health suffered and has spent many nights on the couch because
he was afraid of disturbing me during the night and he wanted me to get the
best rest possible.  I never wonder or
worry about having his support, I know it will be there.  Even if he doesn’t agree, he will never let
me stand alone.  

Even now, I learn new
things about him.  Sometimes those things
are profound and I can’t believe I didn’t know that already and sometimes, not
so much (like last week when I found out he’s kinda named after Jerry Lewis? Eww).

I’m not saying it’s been
perfect or easy.  We have been tested by
illness, our families, and sometimes life in general.  Occasionally we get on each other’s nerves
and once or twice a year there may even be a silent treatment thrown in for a
couple hours.  However, you will be hard
pressed to see us out and about not holding hands or with my arm in his, we
never go a day without saying “I Love You” at least a couple of times, and he
comes to the bedroom every night to tuck me and the dogs in and give us all
good night kisses.

So, while I love him and
can’t imagine my life without him, I truly like, and have a deep respect for him
as a man, a friend, a lover, a protector, and most of all, as my husband.

16 years ago today…


The Art Of A Good Marriage
Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.


Happy 15th Anniversary

You’re everything I wanted and hoped you would be
You’re the very best thing that’s ever happened to me
Because of you I know who I am
I know where I’m going
I sure it was meant for me to love you
and just as sure it was meant for you too
My greatest wish is always be together
To find each other all over again
and know this is forever
So thank you for choosing me to share you’re life
and even more for being you’re wife